Yours not Yours

Compassion that frees and transforms…

If you are at all aware of your empathic nature, you know that what’s yours and what’s not yours is a primary life lesson. If thriving is your primary intention, then mastering this one is central. Surrounding yourself with beings that match you and raise you, having a vibrant energy hygiene, an intentionally creative lifestyle, and a strong handle on compassion.

 Sympathy, empathy and compassion are a progression. Sympathy recognizes the pain another person is feeling and cares. In sympathy, you may feel sorry for the other person’s experience. 

 Empathy can feel what the other is feeling and put themselves in the shoes of another. Sometimes it can take on the energy as if it is yours, which is not actually helpful. 

 Compassion is the sum that is greater than all the parts. It is inclusive of both sympathy and empathy without pity, without taking on the energies of the other, without needing to solve the problem for them, without needing the glory for yourself. 

 Compassion first finds its purpose in the beauty of existence. Everything else comes after that. It may include great acts of assistance, giving, or simply seeing them, holding presence with and for the other while continuing to see them in their power, their ability to rise, to heal, to transform, to thrive. And if they choose not to, the ability to navigate the relationship for your own thriving accordingly.

 If you’ve ever struggled with taking on what isn’t yours in any form, then you know the havoc it can cause. If you’ve merged your sense of purpose and meaning with taking care of everyone else at the expense of yourself, peeling away your identity from this way of coping is an essential part of your thriving going forward.

 The goal then, is to shed (energetically dissolve) everything that drives you to take care from a place of coping, image, taking on others perceptions, from an old driver, and have left the simplicity and power of caring…by choice. So that you are choosing what to care about, for whom, how much, and so on. Choice is your greatest power. Living consciously, meaningfully, deliberately.

 What do you gain from taking care of everyone else and losing yourself? Protection from an old environment? A continuation of the way you took on the family dynamic? A way to cope rather than thrive, to assure yourself a place, a sense of meaning, a sense of control, a way to hide?

 “Me time” can be a start, depending on where it is sourced from inside you. Or it can still be a superficial, ego focused way of being you. When it changes is when you find yourself devoted to your thriving, the sacred adventure of being you. When your relationships, your purpose, your aliveness mean so much that you know you wouldn’t compromise your ability to be present and create—choose—the life only you can desire and find yourself truly present for what and whom you love.

 Who will you be if you’re no longer filling up your life with everyone else’s priorities and desires and instead allowing your own core desires and intentions to guide your life (discovering what those are if you haven’t already), and therefore what you give? 

 Who will you be in a thriving compassion that fulfills your sense of purpose, the priority to be your light, and the meaning of your giving?  

Who will you be when you’re no longer carrying what’s not yours and become a greater catalyst for the greatness of yourself and others?

How deep and wide and expansive will your caring become when it is freed from the hindrances of coping, image, obligation, and draws from the infinite possibility of your own creative well?

 What does it look like, feel like, in all the ways you express yourself – in your company/livelihood, your relationships, your recreation, your vibrant body, your spirituality or consciousness, your finances–to live from this expansive and discerning perspective of compassion? Of what’s yours and what’s not yours? I will leave you with that question.

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