“How do we know when to power through? What am I supposed to do in the face of something like this?” asked Laura, a client, after last week’s post on understanding the language of symbols.
She described a situation at her former firm of demonstrating to the partners the inequity happening in her salary and work accomplished. Their backlash was harsh and forceful, leaving her stunned for years, feeling punished for having the gull to bring this to light.
It’s the classic, “who do you think you are to…?” We find it in the relational systems of our lives (work, social) that mimic our family of origin in some way (and the voices we develop internally) until we transform so completely what we’ve carried forward that their attempts to undermine couldn’t possibly make it past the strength of self-love we’ve built in our own heart (note I didn’t say ego.)
Their backlash was an affirmation of her accuracy, symbolic really, that her talents and energy were being unfairly used. When she started becoming aware of it, those who benefited weren’t happy about it and weren’t going to give the acknowledgment and permission she was looking for to move forward. She “powered through” with her nose to the grindstone working harder until the discord reached a pitch for change and conflict she couldn’t ignore.
She would have to find another way to awaken acknowledgment and permission. Internally first. But the more aligned we become with our own loves and callings, acknowledgment shows itself in our external world, like the religious sacrament idea of an ordination, as well.
Likewise, Luke didn’t think his nervous system was going to hold out any longer with the chaos of his company feeling like it was breaking off in splinters — employees leaving, costs high, and his personal life at a fever pitch. He’d been “powering through” the symbols showing up for him to make change, but interpreting them from a third dimensional perspective—more work, more stress, more action, more shame.
He’d been trying to rebuild his company based on numbers, which lead to cold calls, which lead to stress, which lead to burn out. “What you value and are good at is relationship,” I said, “you can’t build a company or real wealth on something that isn’t congruent with you who you are. It’s ripping you apart and burning you out.” (as well as his employees).
With the fever pitch of trauma, shock and fear internally gone (the energy of anything comes first), we started to strategize a way forward that began with conveying his true values to his employees, taking the helm of leadership again with a clarified intention going forward built on relationship that had been waiting for his return, and a conversation that would invite his employees’ strengths and ideas into the creation of a new structure. No boxes. Their own unique company direction.
Laura and Luke, though they had very unique patterns that we dissolved within them for the transformation of their company and personal lives, an underlying belief that they had to power through took them deeper into spins of chaos, erroneous concepts of themselves, working harder, trying to squeeze more work out of their employees, being harder on themselves, relationships that felt draining, abandoning, and chaotic, including their finances. Even though they made and moved a lot of money, not much stayed home, so to speak.
Each of them is cleaning off the channels that connect their intuition and sense of self with fear, ego, judgment, unmet needs, past experience, their mothers, trauma, interpreting the symbols through shame instead of light. Both of these examples, they are being challenged and freed into their light. A whole new interpretation of life and its “solutions” for bliss, creativity, service, wealth, and relationship. The power of their true natures freed to come forward.
Who do you think you are? Move toward your light.
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