Barriers

Business, Relationship and Money Intertwined…

“You have a channel into the ocean, and yet you ask for water from a little pool.” ~Rumi

Last weekend I had the incredible honor of performing the wedding ceremony for my clients Maggie and Nick. It was beautiful to be immersed so closely with their day and their new love. They chose simple and elegant. The two of them, their dog, Frankie, Natalie the photographer, and me. Oh, and needing another witness last minute, they invited the makeup artist, Carol.

In the Shakespeare corner of the Portland Rose Garden, the place they’d chosen the night before after flying in from Boise, we stood beneath the shade of the maple tree, onlookers snapping pictures, while they shared vows with tears rolling down their faces.

Three Marriages: Into-me-see
There are three marriages, says David Whyte, in his book by the same name. That of work, self and your beloved. I love working, playing really, in the intersection of business (or your work expression of any kind) relationships, and how you relate to or make money because they are so richly intertwined with the same patterns. It’s like a power-triune of puzzle cracking, revelation, freedom and bliss-making at its most playful and powerful—all from the core of you.

Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. I’m not making a judgment between marriage or longterm commitment. But the two are definitely different. Otherwise we wouldn’t have a preference! I do love playing with the energy of it all, though, and seeing who people become and the action they can’t-not-take when they are freed of their perceptions to do what really comes from the heart.

As my clients have attested to, something changes in us when we are free of our barriers to unlimited intimacy and exploring in a world of this new kind of container. Marriage is an adventure in intimacy. Into-me-see. For the intimacy of marriage to thrive takes rich vulnerability and all-in exploration. Leaving a part of yourself out of it withholds something from your thriving, too. If you’re fortunate, you will be opened again, and again, and again to more of yourself in this sacred container that you wouldn’t have discovered in solitude or perhaps even in long-term committed relationship.

In a few examples from clients, the details below will hopefully give you a greater picture of the intertwined nature of your business, your relationship, and your money.

Michael freed himself of his resistances to marriage. It’s just a piece of paper, he said, as he listed all the reasons not to marry the love of his life who walked into his life while we were working together. All his justifications, though, melted in 15 minutes with the freedom from the fear of walking into that much happiness. In three days I received a call that they were engaged. A month later they eloped. Though previously successful, he was also dissolving a lot in his work arena. There, too, he rose to the top of the sales charts for his company after being on probation, developed great relationships with his Japanese clients and colleagues, and later started his own successful coaching business.

Rachel married her longtime partner. As much as they loved each other their shift from living together to marriage felt claustrophobic and they found themselves frequently fighting and in conflict. As they freed themselves of what held them back from true intimacy, their relationship flourished into greater freedom. Meanwhile, she also left her former work position and started her own business from an organic idea based on her true gifts and skills and is growing steadily.

Tracy realized she was keeping her money and her business at arm’s length. She was making plenty, yet was constantly in debt and overworked. As the  unrealized barriers dissolved, including barriers she was still living by from a previous marriage, she began to live into a deeper sense of self that gave her the courage to leave space (instead of filling it with more work) to live the lifestyle she loved. “Look at me now!” she exclaimed. Meanwhile, unexpectedly, the love of her life showed up as a previous client in her business.

Maggie freed herself from a lifetime of longing for her father’s approval, a previously abusive marriage and resentment, and enormous debt (even though she made a lot of money). As she ind herself drawing in the elements of the life she’d always wanted, discovering her true yearnings and finding them fulfilled. She paid off her debt, her income rose, her business grew, and she moved to a new place. Meanwhile, she became very clear on the kind of man she wanted to spend her life and the love of her life walked in as an acquaintance who contacted her “out of the blue.”

Deanna experienced significant shift in her company as we partnered in her evolution. Though successful, she’d held herself tight, contained, and protected and she knew there was more. Her business saw people leave and new people arrive as it became more aligned with who she really is. She gained courage and skill and intuitive strategy with her innate gifts and how to use them in her everyday world of business and personal life. She said yes to more teaching and doors opened. Meanwhile, we also dissolved her resistance to marrying her longtime partner. His proposal received a new answer! And she opened even more doors to her deepest fulfillment in a very natural transition.

These are just a few stories. Each of them is really about the “pool of water”, as Rumi refers above, they were limiting themselves to draw from until they created the internal freedom to draw from the ocean that waited for them on the other side of their next barriers to love.

And their evolutions to continue. We live in infinity, you know.

Each speaks implicitly of the FREEDOM they discovered in marriages of different sorts as they rapidly melted their barriers to love during our work together and the so-called protections they’d accumulated over a lifetime.

They set themselves free into the unknown of new love in who they became and it overflowed into their work and businesses, with money and prosperity, and with love partners. Most of all, into the freedom of who they became and continue to become.

What’s waiting for you on the other side of unseen barriers to love?

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