As I was writing today’s Monday Wisdom, it occurred to me that the people I have respected most in my life and allowed to influence me are those who rock their own boat, without the need to change another. They are self-educated regardless of any other education, comfortable in their own skin, and the change they make may be subtle, vast, or unintended, but definitely profound because it emanates from within, being themselves.
They do not have agendas for changing another’s life. They have personal creeds, spoken or unspoken, on who they intend to be, become, and how they live.
While working with a client this week and addressing what he is creating for his life, past present and future, I suggested he write down his intentions of the kind of man he intends to be. Not his father’s creeds, not his grandfather’s standards or his friends, though he can draw from anywhere he sees the qualities he admires. But most importantly, what he values and the kind of world he wants to live in.
He has a marriage behind him and new love in his life. He’s raising children and visioning a new career. What will he teach his children by how he conducts himself with their mother, with his new love? What did he learn from the last relationship, what is yet to be transformed within him so as not to bring the old patterns forward, and what are the qualities of his new work?
With the fulcrum of change within himself the waves of change that ripple out into the aspects of his life and relationships will land on the shores of other’s where they can make their own choices.
A client mentioned this week in expressing gratitude for the people she has in her life, “not everyone is into transformation or wants to be the best they can be.” She’s right. The ripples moving out from her and her friends’ lives are making an impact on others simply by rocking their own boats.