Recently a woman talked with me about the pain of a relationship that just wouldn’t work. “I’m an idealist,” she said, “I wanted to believe it could be worked out.” She hadn’t drug anything out. She felt good about what she invested and, even though it hurt, let go. She could walk away feeling grateful. It reminded me of Mother Teresa saying, “What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.”

We do the same with our businesses, as our relationships, our financial ventures, and our bodies.

I laughed inside with knowing of my own experiences as an idealist and the intentions I set. Sometimes the results are beyond what I could ever expect. Other times I’ve walked away. A phrase I use with my clients regularly is, everyone can heal, not everyone wants to; everything can change, not everything wants to. 

One of the lessons as an idealist for me has been to learn to stay connected and unattached at the same time; to be grateful for what I invest because nothing is ever wasted. 

With an echo of Mother Teresa in my mind, I said, keep being idealist. Because even when it looks like nothing changes, something always does. What we want, ideally, is attunement. Attunement with possibility, yes. With a others, yes. And ultimately with ourselves. What this lover of life, Mother Teresa, was pointing us to is that whatever you do it is not about the doing—the building, the relating, the creating, the visioning, the changing. It’s about who you become in the experience.

Being an idealist is worth it.

~Shelley Hawkins

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