Foot-candles of Lumens… 

Last night at dinner with friends, with a dove nearby and twinkling lights wrapped around the _____ tree the restaurant had built its deck around, I listened while a new friend, a successful businessman, described his journey with worthiness. 

 As the sun set, he talked of feeling unworthy, his wrangling with this pattern of belief and being, the money worries that have gone along with it, the relationship with his mother that contributed, and his intention to dissolve it right to its source. 

 I know, it might sound like some cheesy new agey saying to some, to live up to your light, but it’s a pithy little quip full of power that I want you to understand. 

The more worthy we feel (which is our true nature), for one example of light, the more relaxed, patient, loving, kind, generous, creative, joyful, playful, peaceful, unpretentious, confident, present… you become. And the more you behold and naturally convey it to others as well (instead of comparing or judging, for example).

Unworthiness doesn’t simply play out in lack of confidence or hang-your-head versions of pity. It shows up in everyday practical experiences we get used to working around…feeling scattered, taking more time to get things done, not being present in relationships, worry, anxiety, malaise, obsessive-compulsiveness, as well as hypervigilance, perfectionism and so many other ways that can look very successful and productive while taking enormous amounts of energy to employ.

The most successful and wealthy people can be right alongside those who appear to be struggling financially or relationally in their feelings of unworthiness. Each person plays it out in their unique way.

Light used to be measured in foot-candles, a former unit of illumination equal to one lumen per square foot that I learned about years ago in design school. Imagine the radius of radiance (or if you like the word influence or impact use that) that expands around you and out to others as you dissolve vague and poignant feelings of unworthiness and all aspects of its source back into the authentic nature of your light. 

 What would you create in your life and how much more easily, with more of the qualities above that are intrinsic to your nature, already within you eager for even more freedom to express themselves—joy, peace, relaxedness, generosity, kindness, confidence…? And add to that, focus, clarity, efficiency, productivity…

 So the point is freedom. Freedom from these patterns like unworthiness and freedom to express fully from your wholeness and capacity for life in all its ordinary, grand, and luminous forms. Your life is a constantly expanding evolution. Your work, adventuring, relationships, physical vibrancy, finances, and the like, can’t wait for your next arrival. SJH


~Shelley Hawkins

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